A silence so Loud
by Oak-and-Iron
Summary: On Earth, finally having a moment to rest, the chief goes into standard health evaluations and required leave while he struggles with his loss and coming to terms with his feelings for the people around him, namely himself. John/OC. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Prologue

**Been looking for some good Halo fics after the end of Halo 4 and finally decided to write. This basically pics up where the legendary ending leaves us. I have only played the games and read the wiki diligently so if I make an obvious cannon mistake, please let me know. This is the prologue, expect full length chapters soon, I apologize for the brevity of this one.**

**Disclaimer: I Don't own it. **

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_" Don't make a girl a promise you can't keep."_ Every loss hurt him from his comrades fellow spartans, to foot soldiers, even civilians, he felt them all. During a training exercise he defined himself as someone who didn't believe in collateral damage. At eight years old the budding spartans were dropped in a remote area with the simple objective of making it out alive, they were to abandon the last to arrive. With those orders he asserted himself as the leader, built a team out of his peers and insured that he was the last to board. Later, when he felt the shock of loosing his closest friends in the program he thought he'd seen the worst of it. But then he lost Cortana, so suddenly and so completely. A nuclear blast is not something to be contested, what's gone is gone.

He squeezed his eyes shut and plunged his head under the cascade of shower water trying to drown out his thoughts, hoping the muffled sound of the water beating against his body and clattering to the the tile floor might fill the silence in his head. He'd been in his suit so long that he forgot what true silence was like, what it was to just be alone with yourself. He was hating it already.

He agreed that he was due to get out of the suit, let his skin breath, let his body function normally for a time. The effects of prolonged time in armor could be massively damaging, his digestive system could fail, he might forget how to eat, sleep, live without the constant monitoring the armor provided. He managed the first step just fine, the nod he received from fellow spartans felt good but after he was down to the nanocomposite bodysuit he started feeling vulnerable.

He felt more eyes on him than before, which he'd expected, people were curious to know what he looked like. His preference to keep his helmet on made this act more of an unveiling than anything else, even the other spartans were staring. To be honest he'd been curious too, a lot had happened since he'd last studied his own face. When he got there he suddenly felt sick, for some reason he expected familiar shades of green and orange but seeing instead a man with crows feet around his eyes and dark hair graying around the edges. He wanted to chock up his reaction to shock, plenty of people would be surprised to see such a drastic change instead of the normal gradual progression. But that wasn't it, it was that he'd honestly expected to see the reflection of his helmet looking back at him.

_" We're all just people."_ Lasky had said, but could he handle that truth? He skipped the performance check and moved on to be peeled out of the bodysuit, leaving him naked and covered in the connective gel that aided in melding his body and the suit together. The shower was having little effect on the gel which clung incessantly to his pale freckled skin. He had to use another noxious gel, some sort of aggressive solvent to removed it. But for now, alone for the first time in ages he'd listen to the fall of the water and the sound of his breathing before moving on to the next objective.

The sound of footsteps making their way through the locker room towards him pulled him back out of his rest and back to reality. His shoulders stiffened as he leaned back out of the water to listen. Human, light steps, female and small approached him. With this observation he relaxed and began to apply the solvent to the gel, decidedly wanting to seem functional despite the way he felt.

" Hello Spartan, I'm here to record a report on your physical state. Please confirm you are Master Chief Petty Officer Sierra-117. " An oddly familiar voice said behind him. He didn't bother to turn or to cover himself, throughout his life he was constantly being examine and he lacked any concern for modesty.

" Affirmative." He said as he sloughed off layers of gel.

" Any obvious concerns or discomforts to report?" She asked, her voice racking at him. Her formal tone made it hard to make out, but it sounded too much like the voice he desperately wanted to hear. He was projecting it surely, that seems healthy...

" No." He answered.

" Good to hear soldier, as soon as you're done here we will move on to some tests. Take your time, I'm assigned to you for the duration of your evaluation." She said and he began to imagine her standing there, he tried to see what he expected, a woman with her hair pulled back and a white coat over her uniform but it kept turning into translucent skin and electric blue eyes.

Unable to bear it any longer he forced himself to turn around, hoping the real person would force the delusions out of his head.

" May I call you John?" She was asking as he starred at her, jaw clenched brows knitted. Her hair was midnight cut at her jaw line and her eyes a faded blue. His heart began to race as he tried to understand what he was seeing. She raised an eyebrow at his sudden expression and he knew he must be hallucinating because before him in the flesh and blood stood a living breathing Cortana.

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**There you have it, a little hook to keep you going hopefully. **

**I have always been curious about how the suit functions and effects the wearer so these are my interpretations after reading the wiki, hope you enjoyed. **

**More Chapters soon, Review!**

********Edit: So I'm a little bummed about the reception this fic got, I don't want to write something people don't like so it's going on hiatus until I can write something more acceptable to fellow fans. ****


	2. Chapter 1

**Thanks for sticking with me, I changed a lot of what happens at the end of the chapter as of 12/16 so sorry for those who read it before and I hope the edits are to people's liking  
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**Spoilers obviously. **

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" Are you alright?" she blinked, trying to keep her eyes trained to his face instead of glancing down at his body. He paid no mind as he studied her over, seeing the subtle differences in her features disappointment swept over him as he realized he'd seen a mirage.

Just as he'd expected to see armor in the mirror instead of a man, he'd been looking for her and pushed that image onto this woman. However, she did look eerily like her. Her cheek bones were the same, her hair, the curve of her body, but her nose was different and her eyes slightly smaller. What she looked like was human, perhaps what Cortana would have looked like if she had been. He turned his face away from her, trying to force those last thoughts out of his head. That kind of thinking was dangerous and wouldn't help him if he had to be around her often.

" Is something wrong?" She asked, trying to sound concerned but bits of annoyance showed in her tone. She began to write something on her chart when he spoke again.

" No..." He shook his head and turned back to the water, " You just remind me of someone that's all..."

" Dr. Halsey maybe?" She prompted but continued before he could react, " She's my aunt, people say I look just like her but I'd never know it's not like I've met her. " She paused, her lips parted slightly as she thought over her next words.

" I...I understand that your AI-" She began but he cut her off, turning his head to look over his shoulder at her.

" I'd prefer not to talk about that." He said sternly and he heard her swallow behind him, " at least not yet."

Clear of the gel he dried himself and dressed into the uniform pants and simple logo t-shirt, finding the feel of cotton on his skin strange. At the doorway to the examining room he stopped and watched the woman as she readied various equipment for use, without the added half ton of his suit he stepped quiet she mustn't have heard him. This was confirmed when she turned around and made a startled yelping sound. She scoffed at herself, trying to laugh it off and he winced at the way it perked his memory.

" You're quiet for being so big. Startle me like that to many times and you"ll have to find a new examiner." She joked, tossing her hair back with a turn of her head and flashing him a smile.

" That won't happen. Sorry about that, doctor..." He trailed off.

" Newhart, Marya Newhart. Please call me Marya, after I've seen someone naked I feel like we could at least be on a first name basis." She said and motioned to the examining table.

The spartan shrugged in acknowledgment and sat on the cold metal, a feeling much more familiar than the soft cotton he was wearing. She got to work behind him, placing an instrument against the plates embedded in his head that facilitated his neural interface.

" So what were going to do here is verify that your implanted hardware is functioning properly then give you something to cleanse out the fluids your suit was sustaining you on, to get you ready to handle eating on your own again." She explained as she worked, another simple act he felt himself comparing to Cortana. Would he do this with every woman he encountered?

" I know doctor N- Marya. How long until I can be reintegrated after that?" He asked, anxious about the wait period he'd have to go through if he let his body settle into life outside a suit of armor.

" A few weeks," She began but as his shoulders stiffened she added, " But in an emergency you could be reintegrated with your equipment in less than an hour. However, there are some serious discomforts ad possible risks to it."

" I'm guessing it's a lot like the cleanse then?" He prompted. The device made a beeping sound behind his head, indicating it had finished the scan.

She pulled it away and set it aside, glancing at the results on the projected screen to their left. He figured they placed it there on purpose, putting the screen at his 7 o'clock to insure he couldn't see it but the examiner could.

Usually he had no doubt in his mind he'd pass these tests, he always exceeded the standards but now the words of Captain Del Rio gave him doubts. What if he was getting old? What if despite his success in the field they pulled him from active duty? He'd have to keep the effects Cortanta's absence was having on him to himself if he wanted to secure his position with the UNSC.

Doctor Newhart came around the table and extended a cup of green liquid to him, her face held an apologetic smile.

" Drink up." She said as he took the cup which he lifted to his mouth and drank quickly, trying his best to avoid the taste of the treatment.

Marya took the cup from his hand and nodded, " I'll take you to a room where you can ride that out."

He looked at her, steely eyes locking with hers. Her eyes gave away intimidation at first but softened and in a move that surprised him she reached out and took his hand, holding it lightly.

" You know you'll be alright, right? You can get past this loss...just give it time." She said at almost a whisper.

He starred at her a moment longer before gazing ahead at his own reflection in the glass wall. Her statement was soothing but again too similar to what Cortana would have done, he wanted to pull his hand away but it felt too good to have something close to what he had, so remained and they sat in silence for a few moments.

In the small white room he sat on the metal slab they provided as a bed waiting for the effects to start. As soon as he was alone in the small 8x8 room made of sterilizable materials with a bed and a toilet.

His body temperature started to climb, his head began to pound and his vision blurred and he knew it was on him. He stumbled forward towards the toilet, his stomach rolling over with the motion. Chills running up his back as he fell into a cold sweat.

His fingertips grazed the rim of the seat as he collapsed onto the floor vomiting viscous dark green liquid that stuck in his throat, inspiring another nauseated heave. He shivered and took in a breath, thankful that at least the smell of the stuff wasn't as horrid.

His stomach began to cramp and he knew that he was about to get a whole lot worse. John sat back down on the floor, leaning his back against the bed and waited for the rest to come.

The fever grew worse, his own harsh breaths were like crashing waves in his head. Each raged breath causing a new pang of pressure on his brain. His vision was blurring.

Unable to sit up any longer he positioned himself on his side, hoping he'd keep himself from drowning. Laying on the cold floor his vision began to spin and the faint orange glow of the light above him faded from his sight.

_He was standing on the light bridge again, the composer glowing a brilliant orange with the sound of ships firing around him. Despite the urgency in this situation everything seemed still, peaceful even. The Didact was nowhere to be seen, he was alone._

_ Behind him the sound of knight materializing caught his attention and he whipped around, MA5C poised towards the target._

_ He lowered his gun and stood up straight, what stood before him was no knight but Cortana as he'd last seen her. Her face held an angered expression he didn't quite understand._

_ " Cortana..." He managed but she held up her hand, silencing him._

_ " Chief... You.. you let me die..." She started._

_ Her words hurt, hadn't she been the one to tell him that it had to be that way? That they protected eachother?_

_" but..." He tried but she glowed a more brilliant blue, her image wavering with her rage._

_ " No! You promised me and you failed! Your purpose was to protect me, to protect humanity but you did a shit job of that didn't you." She smiled, chuckling a bit at the end. Her rampancy showing through in the multiple voices that boomed angrily all at once._

_ " Cortana...You didn't have to die alone, you saved me for a reason didn't you?" He sighed and attached his assault rifle to the magnetic points on his back._

_ She scrunched her face and looked like she was about to cry, if she ever could. Her features became clear again. Silently she lifted her fingers to her shoulders and pulled ripping away the digital bits falling away. She stood before him naked, the places often modesty depicted on display her skin took on a pinkish hew._

_ His eyes shot down to her breast and he felt a warmth between his legs, something he hadn't really felt or at least ignored to his est effort before. She smiled, proud of her effect on him and stepped onto the light bridge._

_ She reached out and racked her nails across his chestplate, the metal gave way under her fingers, screeching against the surface leaving burning blue scars. She gave him a hungry look and placed her hands on his shoulders. He studied her face, unsure of what she was intending. Then she shoved him and he fell hard on his back, the air left his lungs and he froze as she hovered over him and ripped away ay his armor._

_. She looked down at him, her blue eyes piercing through the orange visor and locked with his eyes._

_" I loved you Chief. I loved you and it killed me. " She said and then let out a terrible scream that distorted into an odd distant digital sound and she glowed red and burst into a fiery ball of particles._

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**I think I overdid it last time, Let me know what you think of the change for those who deem to reread these changes.  
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**I realized some of the dialogue came out different than I wanted as well as the graphic nature of the chapter not really being to readers likings so I hope this is better  
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	3. Chapter 2

**Thanks for sticking with me though that rough chapter, Here's something a little approachable to reward you. **

**I also realized that maybe my OC Marya's name might be confusing, its pronounce new heart not knee whart. ew..**

**Review! **

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Day one of mandatory rest began early for the chief, recovered from the cleanse and wishing to keep his mind clear of that awful fever dream he walked to the training field and ran a few laps around the track trying to get his blood warm.

He expected that he'd do the performance test today and he wanted to insure that his concerns from yesterday would not be present today. As the sun began to rise he figured it was time to report.

The massive base was already coming to life, personnel going about their business, soldiers out on drill. John moved towards the large recreation room in which he and the other spartans were assigned to do their tests. He received quite a few glances, he figured mostly to do with his stature but the base receive spartans regularly enough that he wasn't quite a spectacle. Without his armor no one knew who he was specifically.

At the door he was greeted by commander Palmer, " Ready for your tests chief?" She asked with a smile.

He gave her a nod and followed her motion to where Doctor Newhart stood waiting for him. She looked different today, with her hair pulled away from her face he realized he had been foolish yesterday to mistake her the way he did. She gave him a warm smile and he nodded in response.

" Morning Doctor Newhart." He began and she wagged her finger at him.

" Marya, remember... Good to see you looking healthy so quickly. You spartans sure bounce back fast. " She said, pointing to a weighted vest on the table beside her.

He reached for it, judged it maybe 100 lbs and shrugged it on. " Can't lift 45 kilos doctor? " He chided and she threw her hands up defensively.

" I'm here to be a doctor, you'll be doing the heavy lifting." She said and motioned to the floor. " You know the PFT right?"

" Unless anything has changed in the past few years." He shrugged and got to his push ups, deciding to push it a bit farther and switch off one armed.

" You're a little cocky aren't you?" She asked with her stop watch in hand.

" You've read my file right?" He said as an answer.

" Perhaps over confident. " She suggested and he shook his head," No. Over confidence implies that one fails." He corrected and she rolled her eyes.

" Two minutes. You're done." She said and he pushed himself up to stand up in front of her, making her step back from his quick motion.

" You seemed surprised earlier. Have you worked with_ us _before?" He asked motioning around the room at his peers.

She turned away, a strand of dark hair falling down and grazing her reddening cheek. " No, you're my first." She turned back to give him an uncertain look, her grey blue eyes filled with an emotion he figured was something between embarrassment and pride, perhaps she was nervous.

" They assigned me to you? Guess the UNSC isn't interested in easing people into their roles." He said as he took a weighted ball from the table and sat back down on the ground to start his sit ups.

Marya stood beside him with her stop watch, watching him lift himself and the extra weight with ease.

" This test seems silly, you're not even gonna break a sweat are you?" She chuckled and he glanced up at her.

" No, probably not but it's regulation. They've always had us do it. Sometimes with an audience to boost moral. " He said, his voice cool and steady. She scoffed and settled to leaning against the table and watching him. After a bit she began to shift her weight.

" You have something to say?" He asked, noticing her fidgeting in his peripheral vision.

" Did you really do that whole thing with the bomb?" She finally asked laughing at herself for the way she must sound.

He glanced at her again then directed his sight back to the wall. He remembered that little maneuver fondly, it was quite cathartic.

" Yes, I did that." He answered simply.

She laughed again and held her head in her hand, " That's pretty ridiculous you know?" The stopwatch beeped to indicate the time was up.

John sat up, rolled to the balls of his feet and stood up holding the weighted ball in his right hand. Returning it and the vest to the table he turned back to Marya expecting her direction for the next part of the test, even though he knew it, it seemed more appropriate to follow her orders.

Marya blinked at his blank expression, obviously not used to this being a soldiers way of indicating 'What next?'.

"I didn't mean that there is anything wrong with it. It's just, well people, normal people.. Marines and such, they talk about you like you're a legend." She said.

He found himself thinking about what Cortana's comment to that would be but pushed it aside, not wanting memories of her to come bubbling up to the surface. Judging by Marya's expression he ought to say something, " I do what I must, perhaps sometimes it generates a good story for other people but at the time it was the most effective option. "

She knitted her brow at him, seeming dissatisfied with his answer and motioned him towards a treadmill. " Usually there is a rest period now, but you lucky lot don't get to have one, also double the distance. Four miles, you must complete the distance and in order to pass you must complete it within twenty minutes. " She said in a serious tone then took a seat in a plastic chair in front of the machine so she could read the data read out.

John grunted in reply and stepped onto the machine, making a mental calculation he set his pace to finish the run in approximately ten minutes. Running sharpened his senses, told his body to get ready for something. He listened to the sounds of the people around him. Others performing the test were at this stage as well and their footfalls dampened the rest of the sounds in the recreation room. Farther off at his three he could hear two examiners chatting, something to do with a man and something he did the night before, the two women laughed and he directed his attention to Marya.

He felt a little strange about yesterday and his reaction to her, like he'd done something wrong by her to make the mistake he did even though she had no idea. She seemed like a good enough person, young, much younger than her fellows which must mean that she is exceptional. That really didn't surprise him considering her lineage. She was short and had thin arms and rounded hips, certainly more civilian than soldier. She must have done any previous work for the UNSC with a white coat on. Not that it mattered, on many rescue missions he saw people in white coats and soft bodies rise up to do heroic things to keep their fellows alive.

He completed the distance and hit the stop button on the machine, walking out the speed until he could hop off gracefully. Marya stood, her attention directed at finishing up some notes on her clipboard. He approached her and she looked up at him.

" I think I see some sweat up there." She joked pointing up at him with the end of her pen. Her lips widened into a big smile, her teeth showing in just the middle.

" How did I do?" He asked, ignoring her comment but reaching up to wipe at the slight dampness anyway.

She shrugged and looked over the clipboard. " Well you obviously passed this portion, in fact, look around." She said and pointed at the other treadmills four people had been running at on the other machines down the line, now three remained. That was reassuring, not so old after all then.

" Hey Chief.. I uh.." She began and he turned his attention back to her.

" I thought you were calling me John?" He teased and her face took on a slightly rosey color.

" I won't be working with you so directly from here on out. Anything else you do your vitals will be recorded and delivered to me." She said, looking up at him with new found confidence, " But I was wondering if maybe you'd eat some of your lunches with me instead of in the mess hall... I am a pretty good cook and I bet you haven't had some home cooking in a long time."

Try ever, in reality the only things he received was from the UNSC which included food. Whatever a home cooked meal was, he had no idea.

" If you want to go through the trouble..." He shrugged and she lit up.

" Great! You see I usually did this for the marines I worked with, I used to do this for a larger group and I'd get them all together but working with you is a lot more...work. So it's just you." She explained while she gathered up her things and walked with him towards the exit.

" When?" He asked simply.

" Tomorrow, there is a lawn with a great view behind this hall, let's say 1300?" She said with a laugh at the end not used to the jargon but finding it way to connect with him.

" I'll be there." He nodded and they parted at the door way.

At the mess hall he stood in line with another spartan, someone he'd never met before. He was going on about Commander Palmer describing a particular instance where her leadership excelled. Usually John would be interested in this, he had no idea where he'd be placed considering everything he'd done since his blue team fell apart just sort of happened, there was a chance he and Palmer would be working together in the future. He nodded politely but his head was somewhere else, the mess hall was huge and the sight of it seemed a little odd to him after all his time away. Human architecture ought to be comforting but it was almost strange to him to not have the walls or floors glow with the brilliant blue particular to forerunner technology.

rHe found himself wondering if he, sent of with the currently docked Infinity, would travel to the other halos and if he'd encounter similar foes there. What if the Didact was just the tip of the iceberg? He was so caught up with his thoughts that by the time he'd reached a table he hadn't realized they had a tag along behind them. Turning to face the man, a marine in his twenties by his looks, he was a bit surprised at being approached usually people shied away from him.

The kid smiled and offered his hand which John took, careful to give him a firm handshake but gentle enough not to hurt him. " It's an honor sir, I've never met you in person really but you saved my ass a few years ago. I wanted to thank you."

A little taken aback by this recognition he studied the kid, tried to remember him, but couldn't. A lot of the soldiers they sent out with him looked the same under their helmets. " You're welcome.." He said a bit awkwardly, he received verbal recognition all the time but didn't usually have to say anything in return.

" How do you know I'm who you're looking for?" He asked, wondering how without his armor someone might recognize him here.

The marine looked around and then leaned in like he was trying to keep a secret. " I was up on the bay when you had your armor removed. Couldn't say anything then, we're supposed to ignore you guys. Give you space you know." He smiled satisfied with himself, " You don't remember it though do you? Saving me? Of course you wouldn't yo probably save us grunts every damn day!" He laughed and continued his story. " Were up on this plateau, takin' out grunts left and right down below. One turns and he's got this big orange hulk of a gun on his shoulder. I had no idea what it was, we figured since the couple of elites with them were distracted they'd be easy peasy. Then I hear this thumping on my six and it's you coming up from behind us." He chuckled a bit and sat himself down on the table top, placing his vision more even with John's who sat at the bench.

" You throw your arms out and give us all a good hard shove back and three of us go tumbling down the rocks. A second later there was this pop sound and an explosion and you'd gone down to deal with the guy yourself. That's the day I learned about Fuel Rods, holy shit. Thanks for saving our dumb asses. " He laughed.

The spartan across from him turned away, a smirk on his face. John exchanged glances with him and turned back to the marine. " Sounds like a good lesson, what's your name soldier?"

" Vec sir, Eric Vec." He replied.

" You are a good story teller Vec, why don't you tell us another?" He encouraged, finding it always important to have positive influences on fellow soldiers. Eric beamed and dove right into another tale.

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**Hope that was a relief after chapter two, I wonder if I should change it. I'm not sure if it was received very well. Please give me some feedback on that if you could, thanks !**

**I wanted to also thank Wallsofmine for their review, sometimes I need to be pulled out of my funk to get set back on course and keep characters in character. **

**Also the nameless spartan I apologize for, I will get more in depth as the research pans out, they're so detailed I'm sure the actual Spartan IVs on Infinity are all cataloged, so I will give more info in the future. **


	4. Chapter 3

Yay for a new chapter!

**Note: I changed chapter two after a review suggested I do so, I think that it was a bit overboard and generated some bad responses. Please check out the changes so that the story flows better for you. Sorry for the inconvenience.**

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A light clicked on in a small kitchen, plainly colored white cabinetry and gray slate counters took on a brighter hew and light spilled out onto the fire escape outside the window . Below the window was a table with one solitary chair, which Marya took a seat in and began to sip her morning tea.

Waking early enough to have a leisurely morning was important, it presented her as both prompt and collected at work. Her dark hair was already pulled back into a tight bun, a few strands crossed her forehead and tucked behind her ear.

The file in her hands which read "For Eyes Only" held her observations thus far of her subject. Today she'd be passing this file along to the next evaluation process, she'd continue to monitor her super soldier's status and report into the database but the physical file was soon to be out of her hands. She'd tried to make her reports consistent to the past, indifferent and matter of fact. In truth she was in awe, she'd never been allowed to access this kind of information before and could only speculate on the physical capabilities of the Spartans from her aunt's project.

Her notes on the combat test John-117 performed the previous day were mostly check marks indicating a positive outcome in each section of the test, but it didn't seem to express that what she'd seen was completely out of this world.

The test had been meant to see if the aging process was effecting the subject, and perhaps without armor these changes however minute could be detected. When she'd explained the course to him he'd actually scoffed at the use of non lethal rounds.

"Well , that's a change..." He'd said and turned towards the course. She'd raised her eyebrow at him but later reviewed his past tests, the thought of deflecting a weapon like that was insane. She wished she had access to the video footage, that of course was irrelevant to her purposes and was subsequently off limits.

She closed the file and turned to look at the bag on the counter, inside was the lunch she'd prepared. Ethnic food of any sort was not part of the standard diet on base, so she'd made a curried dish and a noodle soup made with fatty beef broth.

She spent her day cooped up in her office, missing the few days of fresh air and warm sun she'd gotten before. When the time for lunch was approaching she began to feel nervous despite her attempts to dismiss it. She'd done this before, plenty of times and the marines always loved it, but this time was different. It was just one on one, and this was no ordinary marine. If she was more nervous about her food or the possibility of an awkward interaction she couldn't tell.

She walked to the spot she preferred and stood holding the bag in both arms looking out at the view. The gentle grass lawn rolled down in tandem with the steps that climbed up the hill beside the rows of large buildings. Below her she could see the large outdoor areas of the facility. Directly in front of her was the track, a group of marines ran circles around it. They looked so tiny from so far off, their squad leader shouted inaudible commands beside them. Next to the track was a small obstacle course and an outdoor exercise platform. Behind that was the larger course that she'd been at yesterday watching the spartan blow through a nearly impossible attack against him as he made is way to the finish line.

" Good choice, except you're a bit out in the open here." A voice said behind her and she jumped a bit before turning to face the person behind her. Today he was dressed nicely, a more formal uniform on though the chest was oddly devoid of the many awards she knew he'd receive. She found herself wondering if he'd dressed this was for her benefit before she could stop the thought. Her face grew warm and she smiled embarrassed by her blushing.

" Still sneaking up on me?" She admonished him playfully and he shrugged.

" That's what I was referring to. You're out in the open here, you made it easy for me to 'sneak up on you'." He said as he followed her to the waist high concrete rim of a decorative planter box. She set the food down on it, turned her back to the wall and pushed herself up to sit on the edge.

" That's kind of the point to eating outside, to be out in the open. Maybe you aught to relax a bit if you're concerned about the tactical position of our lunch spot." She said with a raised eyebrow and he gave her a nod and looked out at the view. She let her eyes drift to his hands at his sides, wondering what they were capable of, what they'd done. She imagined the possibilities were endless as she traced a scar that traveled up the back on his hand and disappeared into his sleeve.

" You're probably right about that." He said and took a seat next to her. She divided the food into bowls and plates and handed them over, he took his silently and cautiously tasted her dishes. They were probably very alien to him but he didn't seem to mind it. They ate in silence for awhile as she tried to think of something to say that might actually prompt the stoic man to talk. Finally she settled on the obvious subject.

" You don't talk much do you?" She said with a smile, he looked up quickly and held eye contact with her. For a moment she thought he wouldn't say anything just silently stare at her, she felt a little intimidated by his expression.

" A lot of people say that to me," He said finally, " I don't find I have much to say if it isn't imperative information or formality. Is that why you asked me here, to talk?" She felt the heat creep back into her cheeks and she shook her head, trying to rid herself of the feeling.

"No...Well yes I suppose in a way. I just think it's nice to do something like this, have a break from all things military and just be people." She said, satisfied with her answer.

He starred at her a moment, then set down his food and sat up to look out at the view to her left.

" Just be people..." He said trailing off a bit at the end, " What do I talk about then?" He asked, turning his gaze back to her.

She shrugged and reached into the bag, offered him a cookie and was startled by how quickly he snatched it from her. She grinned, he'd just revealed a personal inclination towards sweets, whether he was aware of it or not.

An answer to his question didn't come easily, the easiest topic to think of, the war, was probably the worst one to broach due to a possibly bad memories and definite confidentiality. She might often deflect this problem by asking about things that make people happy like family back home, hobbies, stories of adolescence but she had a feeling he didn't have anything like that to share. She drew a blank and shrugged, watching him turn back to the view his eyes moving as they followed something down below.

" Does that ever get annoying?" She finally asked and he gave her a look that asked for more specifics, " I mean, your abilities..They make you different, experience the world differently from the people around you. Is it hard to get peace and quiet if you want it or anything like that?"

He gave her a nod to acknowledge he understood her question and took in a breath as he mulled it over. She looked up from his intimidating eyes to the shorn hair on his head, it was brown, she knew from the file but it was also getting hints of gray in it. She decided against making a note of it, it would only bolster doubts she believed to be unfounded.

" It's more of a problem to me that I don't have others to rely on. Most of the time I'm the first to know about incoming hostiles, but sometimes I wish that the marines could be more observant. It might have spared many lives. As for peace and quiet, I can tune out unimportant noises but I don't necessarily understand why, for example they play music at such high volumes."

She quirked a smile at his answer, what she got from it was that he cared about keeping other soldiers alive even if he couldn't connect with them, she was glad he took his answer there.

" Do you get a lot of attention? People asking you questions or pestering you about being a fan or anything like that?" She prompted.

" No, not really. Occasionally I might be entered into some conversation but it is usually one way. Not that is a problem, for example I was approached in the mess hall by a young PFC who told me a story in which I apparently assisted his unit. But no, usually people give me quite a wide berth, especially in my armor." He paused for a moment and she could tell he was trying to phrase the next part delicately, " Spartans are...not well liked by most, the assistance we provide is appreciated but I think there is an element of intimidation and perhaps feeling inferior. Whatever it is, I have receive some... hostile words about the program." He said and looked back over the lawn.

They were silent awhile, Marya thought about his words not able to resist feeling a bit angry about the idea that people could find it in themselves to be cruel to someone like him. She figured his observations about intimidation were correct, many people assert themselves by being aggressive when they feel small. She could understand that in a way, her peers at university were not very friendly to her about her family history and that behavior hadn't stopped when she came to work for the UNSC.

" People never like an over achiever." She said and he raised an eyebrow at her, she smiled and tried to explain.

" It's a saying, more in a school environment but the idea is that if you're successful while everyone else struggles, you won't be anyone's favorite."

He nodded and seemed like he'd come to a realization as he began to speak.

" Yeah, I learned that lesson a long time ago, I think it's what taught me that when you're in that position what you should be doing is leading your peers to collective success. Perhaps that doesn't apply to yourself, but to me it certainly does." He said and watched her raise her eyebrow, obviously trying to egg the story out of him.

He shrugged and began, " The first day of our training they assigned us into teams of three. The objective was to ring a bell at the top of a pole. The teams who rung the bell first would get a rewarding dinner which was enticing because they'd been running us all morning and our bodies weren't used to that kind of drilling yet. However, the last team would go without because there had to be losers to be winners."

She nodded and reached out and patted his arm to encourage him, " So what happened then?"

He looked down at her hand, surprised by the informal contact, dismissed it and continued the story.

" I was six and would not tolerate losing any kind of game, so I studied the course, identified several options of approach as well as paths that may lead to dead ends that should be avoided. Once they blew the whistle I was first to ring that bell and ran to the finish line feeling quite accomplished. My team mates however struggled through the course and ran the bell last. When I was denied dinner that night I felt angry at the other kids for making me lose, but I realized that winning on your own doesn't benefit the whole. The next time we worked together."

"But.. now you work solo right?" She asked and his face twitched a bit as he fought off some expression of an emotion he'd rather not show.

" Not by choice." He allowed and stood smoothing wrinkles from his uniform. She watched him stand wondering if she'd pushed too far.

" I have a meeting I must attend. A report from me is needed so I must go." He said then glanced back at their plates. " I appreciate this, it was very different from what I'm used to. Thank you." He said with a single nod and she smiled back.

" I hope the talking part was alright for you." She said tentatively, watching him as he looked at the ground contemplatively.

He looked up to her, locking her in a steely gaze again that gave her shivers.

" Someone I knew would probably say that it is good for me..." He said and turned and walked in the direction of the buildings at the top of the hill.

She watched him go, studying the muscles in his shoulders as he walked, wondering what he'd meant about that statement.

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Review Please


	5. Chapter 4

John closed the heavy door behind him gently, a barely audible click sounded as it shut. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, allowing himself to feel the resulting frustration from the interrogation masquerading as a mission report. Apparently what he'd written was not exactly up to par with what they received from his mission footage. Somehow they actually expected him to _explain_ what had happened in those final moments. 'Target neutralized, mission objective complete' was all too brief for what had occurred. Seeing it all over again gave him chills that he quickly pushed back, maintaining cool composure while they demanded an explanation for the unexplainable.

Another exhale and it didn't matter any longer, it had happened, he took some private moments to feel however he felt about it and now it was back to work. He was actually quite satisfied with his consistent answer of, " I am not a technician, I'm a soldier. I completed my mission." It was a good answer clear, concise, and true.

The halls in this building were all polished concrete, hard gray floors and walls reflecting the overhead lighting. He kept his eyes down as he followed the way he'd come in and found the directory he'd been looking for. A simple map of the building labeled the different sections and then broke them down by room number. He was to report to another doctor of some sort, directly after his mission report, which he felt was a little strange since he'd already been working with Dr. Newhart for a handful of days. He hoped that this wasn't some repercussion for her friendly gesture, perhaps she'd overstepped some sort of line. It'd look bad for both of them, but especially for her, if it was in fact a problem her career was probably over before it really got started.

As he followed the route he'd decided on to get to the office a few floors up he felt something akin to guilt, though really he couldn't say it was his fault. Realistically he was probably still reeling from the treatment he'd received in the large dark room with the bright white spot light and he was being a bit paranoid, if there was a change there must be a good reason. He neared the door, it read Doctor Fredrick A. Tanner in large black font, below that in smaller black letters, Psychology & Chaplain.

The master chief knew what was coming next and was contemplated turning around and leaving just as the door opened. Beside the open door stood a narrow man, at one time he may have been more impressive but age had softened his appearances. He wore a thick gray beard and a few hairs stretched across a shining scalp, the last desperate survivors on his otherwise bald head. His polo shirt and slacks hung loosely over his joints, it appeared they had apposing problems when it came to fitting into clothing. He had brown eyes that looked John over silently the same way he was studying him. He looked at his face first which was a bit surprising, most of the time people looked at the uniform first but he didn't seem to be doing that, he was looking at him, sizing him up. After a few tense moments his expression warmed and he gave a quick salute, an oddly placed gesture that confused the spartan giving him little time to react before he was then extending his hand out for a handshake.

" Thank you for being prompt, please come in and take a seat there." He said with a gesture to the chair opposite a desk inside a small cramped office. Dr. Tanner claimed his place and leaned over, placing his elbows on the desk folding his hands in front of him.

" I've worked with your type before," He began, instantly making John uncomfortable, " super soldiers, heroes that think they've got things under control. Well, I'm here to tell you that you don't. You've experiences boat loads of trauma and you just keep it cashed away in your mind. It's there and _it is _affecting you. So I will not tolerate the _' I'm fine, I'm under control. I was just doing my duty and now I'm ready to keep doing it hoora' _response from you. I can tell when you're lying and I can read the best poker face...Understood?"

John looked away from his face and down at the man's knuckles, they had curious white and red speckles on them. He gave a curt nod.

" Good. So we'll start with your arrival here. How have you been feeling since you've come to Earth?" He asked in an questioning tone.

This was all a bit annoying, after spending so much time under the scrutiny over his report it seemed unnecessarily cruel to demand this of him directly afterward. The mental state of Spartans was never much of a concern before, those sort of things were handled internally partially because of the program's status and the fact that no one really wanted to know what was in their heads.

" Sir...with all due respect I think this is hardly-" He began but Tanner interrupted him.

"Necessary?" He prompted and then nodded sitting back in his desk chair, " Its precisely because you think that that it is. Also, call me Fred."

The name stung and the chief had a moment of struggle as he repressed a wince. The man before him raised an eyebrow and he wondered if somehow his face had betrayed him. He held up his hand as if to ask for pause.

" I...I'd prefer not..." He said simply and Tanner twirled a pen.

" Let's try something different, petty officer.." He pointed the pen at him, " excluding the obviously under wraps things, what can you tell me about how you came to the UNSC ?"

He hesitated a moment, uncertain of the repercussions of either possible answer. He didn't feel comfortable talking about this. He'd already done enough talking today.

"There are files on this sort of thing. If I can tell you about it then it's recorded data you can read yourself. My account is unnecessary." He said.

"There you go again with that word, Chief. Can you tell me about your own experiences, thoughts, observations about said events when you were young?" Tanner said, twisting the pen in his hand.

Glancing down at the twirling distraction and taking a moment to think John created a plan for this unwanted intrusion. Satisfied with his plan he hid a smirk and began to talk.

" My training, the details of it and the people involved are most likely details I can't divulge. What I can say is that I've done what I've done all my life and I've never felt like my hand was forced. I was given a purpose and I believe in that purpose." He said resolutely to which Tanner nodded.

Tanner looked down at his desk and John expected he may write something down on the paper in front of him but he simply starred down at the desk in thought for a full minute. He wondered if he was testing his patience, see if he'd squirm under the tension which he found oddly sadistic. He sat watching the man look at his table until he finally looked up and said, " That'll be all for today. You can go."

He returned to his bunk, skipping the mess hall opting instead for some time alone. After what felt like two interrogations, he wanted little to do with whatever may await him in the mess hall. With his broad back on the cot he starred up at the ceiling, his mind drifting back to an unpleasant memory. Major Silva, the man in command at Alpha base on the first halo John had ever seen. He'd had a vendetta of some sort against Spartans, that was obvious, but the way he spoke to John made him feel like he wasn't human or at least like others thought he wasn't. He chocked it up to insecurities within the ODST himself, which was often the case, but the fresh wound of loosing all of his fellow Spartans gave his words extra sting.

The doubts that he sensed today made him feel like they weren't just doubting his report but rather they were doubting him. Perhaps there was concern he'd outlived his usefulness, just like Cortana they doubted his ability to perform after experiencing so much.

He pondered on that until he grew angry, checked it and calmed himself. He was not like Cortana, his experience made him all the better informed to engage the enemy no matter who they were, he just had to prove that to his superiors.

The fact that he had to do that at all frustrated him in a way he couldn't quell and soon some of Cortana's rampant moments rose from his memory. _They replaced you._

The spartan sat up and shook his head, that wasn't going to help, he needed to clear his head. The hall was thankfully empty as he made his way towards the gym, perhaps some exercise would cool his nerves.

As he neared his destination he could hear the familiar breathing and grunts and metal clinking on metal in a large room just ahead. Farther up there was a long glass wall, beyond which was the lap pool. The unnatural blue of the pool colored the hall with an identical blue hue. He hadn't realized he'd stopped to watch the shivering light along the wall until something touched his elbow.

Marya stood to his left, her hair was damp and slicked back, and she was out of uniform instead donning a one piece bathing suit and a pair of white gym pants. She reached up with a towel and ran it over her hair.

" How were your meetings? From the way you look, not so good huh?" She asked with a smile.

" It's not a problem. I didn't expected to see you here." He said, gesturing to the marines around them.

She put her hands on her hips, " You know I thought there would be a problem working out here too but honestly the UNSC does a good job with checking the harassment stuff. Plus there's plenty of ladies in the corps, they've got my back if anything goes sour right?"

He felt himself smirk at her words, the lingo sounded strange from her, almost cute if that was a word he used to describe things.

" Um...Are you busy now?" She asked to which he shook his head.

" Maybe I could show you around town?" She asked looking away as she asked.

Leaving the base was not something he'd considered in the past, the civilian world was an alien place to him. But now, feeling rejected by the world he knew, perhaps something different would be refreshing. Besides, he'd have a guide.

"Sure, I'd like that. Perhaps I aught to change into something more neutral." He said looking down at his UNSC issue shirt and cargo pants that matched the lettering on the shirt.

She nodded in agreement but not before adding, " Yeah, because it won't be obvious that you're military..." She scoffed.

He looked at his fellows, all quite fit in their own right, yet their size didn't compare to his height nor his breadth. His size was something necessitated for his training, and for his performance overall but he had to agree, he definitely stuck out in a crowd.

When they were both changed into more suitable clothing they ventured out of the base, having had only a few little hiccups such as fitting into a civilian car. It was different to be in a city, the last one he'd remembered was New Mombasa, and it was almost strange to see it teeming with the normal hustle and bustle of human life rather than the chaos brought on by a covenant attack. This is what he was protecting he supposed.

She showed him a part of town where he recognized the architecture from some of his history lessons and walked the streets of the historic district, where some of the cities oldest buildings still stood. After a bit of coaxing she convinced him to eat from street vendors, after one taste his skepticism turned to enthusiasm and soon she was begging him to slow down.

Taking a seat on a park bench she watched him eat his last treat in silence, declining her share of it.

" No, I feel like I'm gonna burst as it is! You eat so much..." She sighed and looked up at the brick building before her. It was one of the old ones, but the sturdy brick seemed to hold up to times test, as well as the remnants of the old advertisement across its front the faint image of an elephant holding the world on it's trunk interrupted by rows of windows.

She lifted a pale arm, John noticed she had freckles on her arm and remembered at a time so did he. She pointed up at the building and began to move her finger in a bobbing motion, she was counting

windows.

" That window there, that's my apartment." She said, looking back at him as an errant hair caught at the corner of her mouth.

" The one with no flowers?" He asked as he looked up at the window she identified.

" So I'm busy and my flowers always die, so what?" She said in a mock defensive tone as she tucked the hair back in place.

They sat there a moment, looking up at her window until she broke the silence again.

" Sooo, perhaps we could go up? I'm feeling a little tired and I could use some tea and a sit down before I give you a ride back to the base." she sighed with a stretch.

" Of course." He said and she hoped up and guided him inside.

She sat him down at a small sofa beside the window that faced the bench they'd sat at moments before and took off towards the kitchen. He looked around at the room, furnished with a table, a television of some sort on the wall all in line with the couch in the center of the room which was flanked by bookcases.

Curiosity brought him up, and when the sofa protested to his weight he was glad he hadn't sat there long. Breaking furniture never made him a worth while guest. Scanning over the book titles, much of it seemed technical or academic in the cases to his left. Turning his attention to the cases on the right he realized he only recognized a few, he couldn't tell if it was because he'd never had time for novels or if she preferred the obscure.

He heard her approach and set something down on the table before the sofa.

" Well, what do you think?" She asked, taking a seat and blowing on her tea while she waited for an answer.

"You're very organized." He managed to comment, unsure what one is expected to say in this situation. She laughed and he figured whatever he said wasn't quite right but hadn't bothered her which made him appreciate her patience. He reached for a book and stopped when she spoke.

" Borrow one, I think some culture might be good for you. Pick from the far shelf, those are my old books. I call them my oldies but goodies." She said.

He nodded and turned to the case she was referring to and looked over the titles, settled on one and pulled it out and looked over the cover. It was a striking red and blue which had been what had drawn his attention, but now he noticed it was a drawing of a mouse going through a maze. He shrugged and turned to look at her and showed her the book, " How about this one?" He asked.

Her face jumped from surprise to concern rather quickly and she tilted her head to the side, her hair tipping over her shoulder.

"What?" He asked, looking back at the cover, the title didn't make sense to him and he figured its meaning lay in the details of the work. " Is there something wrong with this one?"

" Oh no, it's a great book... I just... You might find yourself empathizing with the character more than some." She took in a deep contemplative breath, "Flowers for Algernon is..." She began, looking a bit uncomfortable while trying and failing to play it cool. Before he could say anything more she shook her head, set down her tea and pointed to the book emphatically.

" You know what, take that book, but you have to promise you'll tell me what you think of it when you read it." She said. He nodded and slipped the slim book into the inside pocket of his jacket.

When she pulled up to the base she reached over and grabbed his hand to before he could open the door. He looked down at her hand on his, her thin fingers curling around his first and second finger then up at her face. " Promise?" She asked and he gave her another curt nod.

" I never break a promise." He said.


	6. Chapter 5

**Thanks for all of the reviews so quickly! **

**Just to let you know, the book from last chapter is going to influence a lot of interactions for the next couple of chapters. So knowing the basic story is kind of helpful, it's a really great (and short) book if you haven't read it.**

**On a sidenote: I have a question for other MC/OC writers out there, what's with all the horses?**

* * *

Day five of mandatory rest was a hot still day that seemed to drag on longer than usual. Having spent so much time moving so quickly through an hour, an hour of free time was hard to manage for John. Thankful for the book he'd borrowed from Marya, he set himself down to read but stopped and picked it up again several times. She was right, the subject of the book was hard to handle.

He felt like he must have known at some point that people like Charlie, the POV character, existed but he'd been truly surprised by it. It seemed like such a vulnerable life to live, not understanding the world around you. Trying to imagine it made him feel uncomfortable and he put the book aside.

After a trip to the gym he returned to his quarters and dressed into fresh clothes, only to realize that he still had the whole day to fill. He was out of his element not training, not working towards something- just simply waiting. Frustration began to bubble up inside of him but then he remembered he'd made a promise. He picked up the book again and settled down on his back to read the book on his bunk.

As he read over the next few journal entries he realized, as the reader is meant to, that Charlie was going to undergo some sort of augmentation. Something that may make him more intelligent, but there would be risks. That was what Marya had been referring to when she'd cautioned him about the story seeming a bit too close to home for him. He set the book on his chest and held it with one hand as he starred up at the ceiling in thought.

_He was never afraid, even though he figured he aught to be, he just wasn't. Perhaps it was his childish ego at that age but the thought of the negative effects, disfigurement, disability, death- none of those things put any fear in him. Not for himself at least and what he did feel was more of a worry, what if he lost some of his friends? Dr. Halsey had been very explicit that a margin of failure was unavoidable. It made him think back to that pelican, when he'd made sure every one of his friends made it back. Every one of his Spartans made it through then, but this was out of his control and made him uneasy. _

The outside air was disappointingly humid when he went out for a breath of fresh air, hoping to clear his head. On a day like this the grounds were expectedly empty, the heat forcing everyone but the least fortunate to the comforts of indoors. Yet many of the barracks lacked air conditioning of any kind and the stiff air in the large buildings were more of a lesser degree of discomfort. The heat radiated in visible waves from the asphalt farther off, distorting the view of the ball courts and training yards.

He took in a breath to still the complaints in his mind, this wasn't so bad, with his eyes closed he focused on his breathing for a few beats. Doing this pulled him away from complaints his body may be reporting yet sharpened his senses to his surroundings. He could hear somewhere off to his 2 o'clock a stern voice drilling some marines about the fields, weather like this was a good opportunity for training. He approved but was thankful he wasn't training today, the heat here made him feel slow and he'd much prefer the controlled environment of his armor.

The sounds of the gym floated down the hall to his six and spilled out around him, dissipating as it collided with the curtain of heat in the yard. The pool sounded very busy, understandably, but the usual grunts and clunks of the work out room were absent, not a surprise that if he felt the heat dragging him down his fellow soldiers were probably feeling a great deal more.

Inhaling through his nose he hoped to get hints at what was in the mess hall, but the air smelled of more of hot dirt and on his exhale he felt like he could taste the gravel in the French drain around the barracks. Opening his eyes he took another look at the heat radiating over the ground in the distance then set out walking.

He'd gone past the buildings of the main base and followed a trail into the forested training ground without any real plan for where he was headed. His mind kept returning to the character in the book and how he strangely empathized with him. He certainly wasn't lesser than his peers, but quite the opposite, still there was something there in the way he seemed to lack agency in his situation.

Control had never been something John had been able to fully grasp. He'd had command certainly, but he'd always been within the chain of command, always someone above him pulling the strings. That was until the Halos, the Forerunner, the Flood, Requiem. He'd called the shots in many cases, and even went as far as insubordination on Requiem, but always for a greater cause. Similarly, this poor character had been moved around and placed into situations by the people around him, did he really even have a choice in the matter of the experiment? Wasn't it taking advantage of a person like that to offer them a golden apple?

Civilians have so much power over their lives, their decisions were their own alone. What would life be like for someone like Charlie if he became _normal_? Would he be able to simply live like anyone else, would he even know how? John expected that he'd have to learn, and that through that there would be darker elements of humanity revealed through his experience.

He tried to make himself stop short at this comparison when these questions could easily be turned towards him. He understood his own surroundings, the rules and organization of a military life seemed simple and comfortable to him. The thought of civilian life seemed unstable and disorganized and suddenly he felt very certain he needed to be placed back in the field urgently.

The Spartan had listened for water while he let his thoughts wander and found a stream. Curious about the watershed above, he began to follow the stream uphill. A few hours later he stopped and pressed his back to a maple growing precariously close to the creek bed. Coming up on his right were voices, two male marines from the sound of it. He wasn't sure if he wanted to interact, this far away from the security of the base, and decided to lay low and wait for them to cross his path before moving on. Some would say it would be _their funeral_ if they were to pick a fight with him, but the guilt he felt for hurting his fellow soldiers in his past made him hide away for their sake.

As they passed he recognized one of them to be the PFC from the mess hall, figured him friendly enough and began to approach the pair. When he got within earshot he called out to them and added a shout of"friendly" when the two jumped in surprise. Vec beamed when he recognized him and clapped his friend on the back.

" Shit Yellow,this is the Spartan I was telling you about." Vec said to a his friend whose name read: Willis on his forced himself to smile, even if it wasn't the truest it would be an appreciated gesture. Willis did a double take between his friend and John and them sprung into a smart looking salute.

" At ease soldier, no one's in uniform here no need for formality." John said casually as he came to a stop in front of his attention to Vec he looked about 25 or so, maybe younger and Willis beside him looked even Vec had sandy colored hair shaved down in the usual fashion and deep brown eyes, Willis had a dark completion and shaved his head clean.

" Have you been telling more stories Vec?" He asked, accepting the water canteen Willis had thrust out to him in a gesture of hadn't realized he was thirsty until he drank and was thankful for happening upon them.

" Yeah man, that story never gets old." The marine shrugged.

" You called Willis here Yellow, why is that?" The Spartan asked, taking another glance at the PFC in question. Willis threw up a hand in exasperation, "It's a stupid nickname.." He complained as Vec chuckled. "Go on, tell him then.." He said, feigning annoyance and taking a swig from the canteen himself.

Vec let his laughing die off and began the story, a broad smile playing across his face as he told it.

" So when we were all green behind the ears, training here on base before the real deal. We were all taking bets about who would chicken out on our first simulation training. At the time, Willis was real squirrely, hadn't really grown into the place yet if you know what I mean."

" It ended up that a lot of those yellow belly bets were on Willis, but somehow he found out about it right before our first simulation. He was so pissed I think we aught to have called him _red_,and went into cryo chomping at the bit. When we came out he was first to gear up and first out on the turf, we reached our first checkpoint as a group and located our opponents. While we were busy planning our strategy Yellow here was just getting angrier and angrier, but nobody noticed because Yellow never said anything most of the time. When it got to be too much for him he just took off running and made a beeline for the other team."

Vec broke his story and let out another burst of laughter, a perfect signal for John that he should smile at this part of the story. Willis folded his arms and turned away, though a smirk played across his lips plainly.

"He ran out there like some Rambo movie and took every single one of those team members down. In fact, the last guy, he tried to run, actually turn tail and run away from Yellow. Yellow jumped on his back and put him in a sleeper hold, knocked the guy right out. Then he stood up and looked us all in the eye and yells, " I am not.. Yellow!" He laughed and then shrugged, " So obviously we call him Yellow from then on."

John looked to Willis and then back at Vec, " Good story Vec. That is certainly a way to earn a reputation."

Willis nodded in acknowledgment and the spartan recognized he was also more of the quiet type, perhaps he hung around Vec so he could do all the talking for him. Willis' eyes trained downstream then back to John's eyes.

" What're you doing out here Chief?" He asked cooly.

" I'm not sure," John admitted, " killing time I suppose." He realized standing still might seem odd and added a shrug as an afterthought. Willis seemed to notice that but said nothing about it.

" Until what?" Vec asked, Willis and John exchanged glances before John turned his attention back to Vec.

" You tell me.." John said.

He'd decided to walk back to the base with the two, walking in silence and taking the back. Vec trailed up ahead a bit and Willis stayed back, a few steps ahead of the Spartan. Vec seemed eager to explore the area and lead then away from the stream, which John allowed while keeping note of their location in relation to the water in case they got lost following Vec's lead.

Willis turned back to John and offered him the canteen again.

" Seen a lot of action in your day huh?" He asked while John drank.

John nodded once and handed the canteen back, " You say that like I'm retired.." He pointed out.

" No disrespect sir. I just mean, you been seein' it for a long time." Willis corrected and John nodded in acknowledgement. He liked this soldier, and found himself wondering how it is he seemed so green to him before.

" I have..." John said, his deep voice rumbling as he trailed off. They walked in silence for a bit longer, John observed Willis look tentatively back at him a few times until he finally spoke to him.

" What is it private?" He asked in a tone that commanded an answer but quiet enough to not tip off Vec up ahead of them.

Willis slowed his pace and walked abreast with John. The PFC sighed and turned to look at him, his eyes showing uncertainty.

" It's not everyday you meet a living legend..." he began, " and I.. I always wondered, I know it must have been bad but... I wondered what fighting the flood was like."

He looked relieved to have the question off of his chest, though John felt uncertain about how to answer. Unraveling his own memories about the flood seemed difficult as well as uncomfortable but perhaps he had a duty to his fellows to let them know what it would be like, if they were to ever face them again. The thought brought chills up his spine despite the temperature.

" When I first encountered the flood..." He thought back to the swamps, " I was all alone, on a mission to rescue a captain I thought I'd just rescued once already. This was when we were crash landed on the first Halo the UNSC had ever interacted with. I didn't know what happened to the Captain, all I knew was he dropped out of contact but his signal was still up. I'd had an AI back then, but not for this mission, I'd left the marines I'd come with up at the opening of this structure to provide cover in case it got hot."

" I found a few of ours, tags gone so I knew that scuffled had left some alive. I moved on and found a soldier alive and in total shock, I couldn't get any sense into him and ordered him to join the soldiers waiting up above. I don't know if he did or not... I kept moving, and the quiet began to really bother me. No covenant, none of ours.. just the occasional body from either side."

" When they hit me it was all at once, seemingly hundreds of these balloon-like creatures with tentacles scuttling in hordes towards me. They were small and controlled bursts worked well on groups, but spread out they could flank easily. Then out came the combat forms, reanimated bodies of covenant elites and human soldiers. Twisted into grotesque monstrous bodies, they smelled like corpses. Some could handle weapons, some had replaced their hands with a clawed or tentacled arm."

Willis wrinkled his nose and drew his lips into a thin line and John stopped, wondering if he'd said too much but Willis shook it off and urged him on.

" I had to fight my way out, while I had no idea what it was I was fighting. I learned and adapted as I went, getting plenty of time as a lift sent me the wrong way, deeper down into the facility." He said and trailed off, remembering that sinking feeling in his stomach as the lift sent him down deeper into the halo.

" Did one ever, you know, grab you?" Willis asked, looking away out of respect, though a spartan would never let his face betray his emotion anyway. He took a long pause, pondering if he should answer truthfully, he'd never included that little scare in his report. It had put him in shock for long enough for him to know he didn't care to re-live it.

" Yes..yes once, an infection form jumped on my back, managed to cut through to my skin and almost had me when Cor- my AI sent an EMP through my suit and knocked it off." He said for some reason.

They were silent for a long while after that, both pondering the story John had just shared. When they reached the base the three of them went to the mess hall and before John could pull away from them Willis reached out and firmly held his shoulder, a gesture meant to communicate camaraderie but made awkward by their height difference.

" Thank you." Willis said resolutely, and John gave him a curt nod realization dawning on him that he'd managed to do what Tanner and Dr. Newhart had been trying to get out of him. He felt like maybe he'd let his guard down, letting down a wall like that, but he couldn't help but also feel a bit of relief.


	7. Chapter 6

It's been a long time! Thanks for sticking around and I hope you enjoy this new chapter, I wrote the first half more recently and the other half awhile ago. Hope it isn't too confusing.  
I did some research and decided to be more specific about the location that the story takes place in, there are only a handful of bases on Earth that would make sense, I think it is a proper choice so I took a look at the city and the topography around it to guess where it would be placed.

* * *

UNSC base Segundo Terra lay south by southwest of the massive Mexico City. It had been founded on a point 300 feet above sea level and sprawled out to engulf the areas around it, taking in Lake Chalco at it's most Northern point. From Marya's window, approximately 35 kilometers away, it was hard to see much more than the massive anti-aircraft weapons mounted atop the highest point.

It was a Saturday and the park below was packed with people and the music echoed up against the buildings. John stood beside the window, pressing his back against the wall, listening to the sounds from below. The music dulled into the background as he concentrated on the human sounds, children playing, a baby crying, laughter, people talking in the local language he did not understand. An argument erupted from the market area, roughly 100 yards away. It seemed to be subsiding when Marya stepped back out with the tea she promised.

Accepting the cool glass he remained standing by the window while Marya took a seat on her couch. "So...have you been reading flowers?" She asked idly, watching him. He heard her, of course, but wasn't certain if he would answer.

He listened to the crowd below a moment longer before deciding. "Yes." He said, looking at her expectant expression. " It doesn't make sense that the improvements due to his augmentation have rendered him so isolated." He allowed for her sake, in truth he was confused by much of the book. Why would resources like that be wasted on someone so simple?

Marya took a sip of tea and pushed her hair behind her ear, his eyes following her hand as she moved. Her wrists seemed so small, delicate, weak- something he was oddly fond of. " So, his friends, they turned out to be..not such good friends." He nodded though he was fairly certain it had been rhetorical.

Marya sighed, she had hoped for some reason that the book would prompt John to open up. He had such a past, some she knew, some she didn't and she found herself hungry to know more. She felt like there was a person in there, she just had to give him more time to show himself.

She watched the massively tall man lean against her window frame, his eyes training from her to the window. Perhaps the noises down there were too much stimulus, maybe it was too distracting to talk.

"Would you like to go down to the market?" She asked with a startling blue eyes locked with hers, he shook his head. " Not a crowds guy huh?" She asked, feeling like she should have known better than to ask.

" Charlie just seems more isolated than ever, he's alone..." He said, ignoring her question. What he'd said, his tone, seemed to reflect something else he was thinking. Could it be about the other Spartans in his program? Her heart went out to him.

" We're all alone John..."

That seemed to catch his attention, his gaze locked on her." Do people really feel like that?" She dared her next question, " Do you?" He stilled, starring at her until she thought to retract her question.

She looked at the floor, there was a beat of silence between them and a fly buzzed noisily on her ceiling.

"Recently...yes..." He began, he was watching the fly when she looked back up at him. " I should go." He said looking back to her. Marya was surprised at what he'd admitted, perhaps she might break through after all.

At the door she stopped him, grazing his arm gently, " You should come by more often." Then added, " to talk about the book." She smiled.

On base the heat had lifted,along with the despondency it brought. The training grounds were full of marines, a welcome sight to the chief, something familiar was a comfort after a trip to the city.

The city was loud and full of civilians living lives he could not hope to understand. That and Marya was there, a prime distraction lately, something he'd indulged in too much. He needed off this base soon, he grew restless.

Stilling the emotions in his head he steered himself towards the gym, hoping to clear his head in a way he was accustomed.

* * *

As the days wore on the heat that lay over the base and the city beyond began to lift off, the bands of radiant heat began to lessen and the heat wave had broken. Day 15 of mandatory rest and John had spent many of those blistering days trapped within the tiny walls of Tanner's office, the man himself starring down his nose at him while he pieced together his past. The odd man was not as bad as his first impression let on, his curt behavior in the beginning meant only to set his intentions clearly.

They were, however, stuck in another stalemate after Tanner posed a particularly charged question and John could not fathom a way to answer. He'd been telling the doctor about Reach's downfall and with it his Spartans, followed by going into cryo and waking to an alien installment. He'd said he'd been alone ever since, alone except for Cortana. She'd been his constant, reliable companion through the halo, his fight with the Flood and how he'd been glad in his successful rescue of her. After that it had been the reality of being lost in space together, with no guarantee of recovery. He'd begun describing what had happened after that, discovering the forerunner planet before them, her rampancy, and her death but Tanner cut him off and eyed him for a moment as he stilled.

" It would be understandable, given all those years alone or alienated, that you might develop quite a relationship with your AI. Do you think it may have been possible that you were more than fond of her?" He asked, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

John's heart was in his throat, the last image he had of her was in his mind as he shook his head curtly. That was highly improbable, he was made to avoid those sorts of problems, why would he care that way for something that wasn't even human? _If we get o____ut__ of this, promise ____me__ you'll figure out which ____one of us is the machine. _He had appreciated her ability to empathize with him, he felt like she understood him on a deeper level than she'd really been meant to. He thought that a sort of bonus, but perhaps now with the unfortunate reality of her demise, that sort of thinking was of poor choosing.

He'd left Tanner's office in a hurry after that and hadn't returned since, spending more and more of his time in the city with Marya. She made him feel comfortable in all of this mess, it had been her that said he deserved space in the aftermath of all that he'd been through. He'd liked the sound of that, and decided to agree with her.

She surprised him one day by showing up to their accustomed meeting spot with her dark hair shorn close to her head except for a chunk that lay across her forehead and hung down the side of her face in wisps. He'd jokingly asked her if she'd decided to drop from the medical corps and join the infantry and she'd laughed and tucked a hair behind her ear. Neither of them seemed to need to speak about the true reason she'd cut off her hair, which made him have even more gratitude for the gesture and he'd never mistake her for Cortana again.

Now he was choosing once again to avoid Dr. Tanner and instead meet with Dr. Newhart out on the grassy hill she preferred. He'd gotten there before her, which confused him because she was usually very prompt. He shrugged it off, figuring she'd appear any moment now and took a seat on the grass. The training yards ahead were filled with marines hard at work on drill, he tried to spy Vec and Morris but figured it an unlikely coincidence.

" Did you finish it?" Her voice called behind him, bringing his attention down to the book he held in his lap.

" No, not yet." He said simply and paused for her to speak, inferring from her silence that he was supposed to say something more. "I'm concerned for Algernon..."

Marya sat against the concrete planter and rocked her feet up a few times as she chuckled.

" Everyone is John..." She began and held eye contact with him as he turned to look at her. " Everyone worries for Algernon...What else?"

The Spartan had begun to accept her inquiries as challenges all in their own. Perhaps if he could understand more about the people around him it would ground him somehow. He could use a better sense of camaraderie that was for certain and with Cortana and his Spartans gone, he'd have to look into the rest of humanity.

" His relationship with the teacher is unfortunate." He began, thinking that whatever he'd said intrigued her when her breathing changed, " He cares for her in an odd, awkward sort of way but it seems to be changing more before he can really understand or act upon it. It seems like a mistake and even more so, a distraction from his true goals, to become involved with her."

Marya sucked in a breath and starred down at her feet for a moment, he could tell she was fighting something internally but what, he couldn't tell. He stood and approached her, opening the bag she'd brought with her to examine the food she'd brought for him. She watched him silently for a moment until he could no longer take the odd behavior.

" Have I upset you somehow?" He tested, in a voice that was nearer to a whisper as he retrieved a cookie from the bag. Her face gave away slight hints at emotions he thought he recognized as sadness and frustration. She looked past him, down the field at the view beyond, her jawline brought in taunt. He was about to speak again when her eyes suddenly darted up to something much closer and the he could hear they were being approached.

A glance over his shoulder revealed it to be two men in fatigues he recognized as Vec and Morris. Turning about to face them he quickly switched the cookie his left hand to allow himself to return the salute they gave him.

Morris turned to Dr. Newhart, studied her uniform that marked her as medical lab personnel and then offered out his hand. After the proper introductions Marya offered out, to his dismay, the rest of the cookies in the bag and smiled knowingly at him.

"I had no idea you were making friends..." She said coyly and before he could reply Vec added, " Yeah, I was gonna say the same thing..." He said with a smirk and looked at Marya in a way that made John feel suddenly protective.

Morris seemed to notice this bit of awkward exchange and elbowed his friend in the ribs before cutting to the chase, " Pleased to meet you doctor but our business is with the chief here..We were wondering if..." He began.

" There is a competitive practice, just for fun." Vec burst in.

Morris nodded and continued, " Yeah, capture the flag in the training course...Since it's not official we can form our teams with anyone we like and well, we were wondering if you'd join us."

John had remembered these drills and understood that while he'd done them as a child, they were very practical forms of training for the adult soldiers of the corps.

" Wouldn't that be.. A bit one sided?" He prompted, cocking his head to the side slightly for emphasis.

Morris scratched his head and let Vec answer this one.

" Yeah it would, except we agreed to cut four out of eight of our players if you agreed." He said with an excited grin.

" So, it's you two, some other guy and me...against eight?" He asked and sent an incredulous expression towards Marya who smiled and mouthed, "it'll boost moral" mockingly.

"It seemed more fair." Vec said with a shrug and Morris nodded in agreement.

"It does." The spartan agreed with a nod, " When?"

" You'll do it?" Vec asked in his excitement and pumped a fist in the air when John nodded.

"Tomorrow 1200. See you there?" He asked and added as they turned to leave, " Oh, and they've got a viewing room too. You can see the footage the cameras pick up." He said to Marya who smiled wider.

John and Marya watched the two PFCs walk away, Vec gesturing excitedly while he spoke to his stoic partner. Turning his attention back to Marya's odd behavior, John tentatively placed a hand on her elbow which seemed to surprise her.

" I upset you somehow." He prompted, to which she shook her head and turned away. " It's nothing.." She insisted with a little smile. He could respect when someone wasn't willing to share and dropped the subject.

" I hope for their sake they use some very tame stun rounds." He said and Marya tittered while he added, " Once word spreads the whole base is going to pack into that viewing room."

"Well, it's definitely going to be interesting..." She said in an all too familiar tone.

* * *

More to come soon! Hope this wasn't too choppy. Review!


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